FADUCO Week 2 Rankings
Two weeks into the season, I’m on top of the power rankings.
This may seem a bit ironic as I did zero fantasy research before the draft,
since I was without internet in the wilds of Africa. Well, what really happened
was that I visited a witch doctor while in South Africa. After a ceremony
involving burning mopai tree branches and buffalo hair, and chanting some
Shangaan words, he bestowed on me a great spirit animal for my fantasy team. OK, you may think all this is a big pile of
elephant you-know-what. And you’re right, here is some photographic evidence:
Sorry for the inactivity the last two weeks. Now that I’m caught up with work (a concept now foreign to
Hai), here are my rankings for Week 3:
1. Victor
The Good: Top
scoring team, has Peyton Manning plus 2 stud RBs. Actually pretty efficient so
far this year. Three of next four games
are versus teams in the bottom half of scoring.
The Bad: The
four keepers are carrying this team. Asides from TEs, his draft picks haven’t
been very stellar so far. Depth may not
be there for the bye week periods.
Spirit Animal: African
Elephant. Old QB is a juggernaut so far. Also, the one on the right is doing what Peyton did to the Ravens and Giants.
2. Andrew
The Good: So far
the trade for Aaron Rodgers has provided Andrew with scary home-run hitting
ability. Cornered the market on stud white receivers. Has the best DST in the league, who’s facing
the Jags this week.
The Bad: No
running game whatsoever. Likely to trade
again. Unlikely to win two trades in a row.
Spirit Animal: Cape
Buffalo. Unpredictable, can be deadly when charging because it won’t stop. But
also has long history of being prey to others.
3. Katy
The Good: Mike
Vick under Chip Kelly = fantasy predator. Consistent performance from both RBs,
which is something new this year. Good
depth at WR.
The Bad: Mike
Vick = injury risk. WR play may be inefficient this season since they all have
same talent level and can explode while sitting on bench.
Spirit Animal: Lion.
Inactive for like 20 hours. Lord of the jungle and a terror to others for the remaining
4 hours. In other words, feast or famine
with this team.
4. PJ
The Good: Best
set of running backs in the league, has 4 of the top 10 scoring RBs. Nailed 1st
round pick of Randall Cobb.
The Bad: Tom
Brady has no one good to throw to, so PJ is still experiencing consistency
problems at QB. No one of note in WRs after Cobb.
Spirit Animal: Cheetah. Has a noteworthy ground game, but a bit
fragile.
5. Tuna
The Good: LeSean
McCoy is the second highest scoring RB. Matt Forte has been very
consistent. Matt Ryan pick so far solid.
Kicker is good because Jason Garrett prefers kicking 53 yard FGs over going for the win (analysis by a Maryland grad no less!).
The Bad: Where
are the stud WRs that Tuna has been known to draft? Vernon Davis is
boom-or-bust.
Spirit Animal: Hippo.
Despite being one of the most deadly animals in Africa and utterly ruthless in
the water, it is not considered trophy material by most hunters.
6. Donny
The Good: Has
maybe the most well-balanced roster. Giovani Bernard likely the best rookie RB
this year in terms of production.
The Bad: Cam
Newton off to slow start, may lead to inefficiencies if Donny starts Schaub
over Cam in the wrong week. Likewise,
deep RB set is going to be bad for efficiency as well. DSTs are blah.
Spirit Animal: Leopard.
On the surface, looks very pretty, and
can be deadly. But usually loses to other predators and thus has to hide its
food up a tree to avoid getting it stolen.
7. Kevin
The Good: Three
of his keepers have performed to expectations.
Pretty solid total scoring consistency so far. Tavon Austin shows keeper potential. Long
history of championship material.
The Bad: Andrew
Luck still has to face 4 NFC West defenses.
Running game has not improved significantly from last year, especially
now that Vereen will be out for a good while.
Spirit Animal: Honey
Badger. The toughest pound-for-pound land animal. It won’t go down without a fight, and just when you think he’s dead, he rises up and kills you.
8. Lily
The Good: Well,
RG3 can’t get worse, right? Also, Lily has #1 waiver priority with the top
non-QB Fantasy scorer still a free agent! (That would be Eddie Royal). Team
also put up good fight in week 2.
The Bad: Another
team with pretty bad RBs. Arian Foster seems to be in a RBBC situation now.
Dropped Phil Rivers in preseason, who is now the #4 QB in scoring.
Spirit Animal: Crocodile.
Lily’s son was most fascinated with them out of all the animal photos I had.
Also, most people really underestimate how fast they can run OUT of the water.
9. Bill
The Good: Two
of the top six WRs. Great value pick in Desean Jackson. Drew Brees has yet to
face AFC East defenses.
The Bad: Running
backs are decrepit. Drew Brees has yet to face NFC West defenses.
Spirit Animal: White
Rhino. In danger of extinction due to evil Asians, like Bill's playoff hopes.
10. Hai
The Good: Easiest
schedule so far, otherwise, he would have been 0-2. Colin Kaepernick still to face AFC South
teams.
The Bad: Preseason
keeper favorites have been big busts asides from Kaepernick (even he is
inconsistent). Draft except for Stafford and Fred Jackson has been pretty bad
picks
Spirit animal. Hai-eenya.
Okay, so hyenas are actually really good hunters and awesome, which is NOT an
appropriate description for Hai’s team. I just picked them for the pun
potential and because Hai likes ribs.
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