You think that getting my first win, being first in line for the Tim Tebow sweepstakes, and bathing in Eagles schadenfreude would put me in a cheery mood football-wise. Well, to offset all these good news, I have to go negative on y'all. The football gods demand sacrifice for all this fortune. So this week, I'm going to pour the haterade on all the teams...
1. Andrew - Yeah, he's number one and still undefeated. But look at this trend in points scored by him since week 2: 96, 84, 72, 64. Sorry, my bro-love has now transferred to Tim Tebow.
2. Donny - Cam Newton is going to start in front of all his homies this week in Atlanta. He's going to be distracted by all the hangers-on and leeches who want tickets. Also, Bears defense is going to stink if Julius Peppers is out for a while.
3. Tuna - Go ahead and enjoy Aaron Rogers and Greg Jennings for the next 6 weeks. The week after that, don't cry when the Suhnami washes away Rogers in the most anticipated Detroit thanksgiving game since, um, forever.
4. Lily - Evil move #14: Getting your kid to wear an Alex Smith jersey, so your brother feels guilty and gives Smith and the 2nd best defense away for 2 trash and an aging receiver in a desperate move to shore up his receiver corps. The Suhnami doesn't take too kindly to that and shall punish Smith this week.
5. Bill - Has decent RBs and WRs, yet is on a 2-game slide. Main culprit: sticking with the underachieving Eagles defense who are being led by a former offensive-line coach and a clueless fat-ass.
6. Hai - I don't think any of his starting running backs can run faster than a 4.7. Having two tier 2 QBs shall lead to managerial inefficiency. Still, can't hate on that Detroit Suhnami defense.
7. Katy - Guess which active RB is leading in FADUCO scoring average? How many of you answered Beanie Wells? I was shocked as well. Now, how many of you think Wells can keep this up?Should deserve to be below #7 after losing to the worst team in the league, but the others are just sooo bad.
8. Kevin - The fall of a dynasty is never pretty. I honestly looked into trading with Kevin to help upgrade his QBs, but he had zero (yes, zero) WRs I'd rather have than some waiver-wire pickup. Sad, very sad.
9. PJ - Good thing I didn't trade Witten, Ravens, and Wallace for Cadillac Williams, Dallas Clark, and Mike Williams (actual trade offer). The fantasy gods were not pleased by that insulting offer, and thus smited PJ's team to be low scorer of the week.
10. Victor - I can't rank myself higher than PJ, since he beat me head-to-head. Also nearly pulled off most idiotic benching of the week by sitting Big Ben and missing out on 5 TDs, but Alex Smith rescued me a bit. One more week of suck-ass-titude before the TEBOW makes his grand entrance into fantasy valhalla.
1. Andrew - Yeah, he's number one and still undefeated. But look at this trend in points scored by him since week 2: 96, 84, 72, 64. Sorry, my bro-love has now transferred to Tim Tebow.
2. Donny - Cam Newton is going to start in front of all his homies this week in Atlanta. He's going to be distracted by all the hangers-on and leeches who want tickets. Also, Bears defense is going to stink if Julius Peppers is out for a while.
3. Tuna - Go ahead and enjoy Aaron Rogers and Greg Jennings for the next 6 weeks. The week after that, don't cry when the Suhnami washes away Rogers in the most anticipated Detroit thanksgiving game since, um, forever.
4. Lily - Evil move #14: Getting your kid to wear an Alex Smith jersey, so your brother feels guilty and gives Smith and the 2nd best defense away for 2 trash and an aging receiver in a desperate move to shore up his receiver corps. The Suhnami doesn't take too kindly to that and shall punish Smith this week.
5. Bill - Has decent RBs and WRs, yet is on a 2-game slide. Main culprit: sticking with the underachieving Eagles defense who are being led by a former offensive-line coach and a clueless fat-ass.
6. Hai - I don't think any of his starting running backs can run faster than a 4.7. Having two tier 2 QBs shall lead to managerial inefficiency. Still, can't hate on that Detroit Suhnami defense.
7. Katy - Guess which active RB is leading in FADUCO scoring average? How many of you answered Beanie Wells? I was shocked as well. Now, how many of you think Wells can keep this up?
8. Kevin - The fall of a dynasty is never pretty. I honestly looked into trading with Kevin to help upgrade his QBs, but he had zero (yes, zero) WRs I'd rather have than some waiver-wire pickup. Sad, very sad.
9. PJ - Good thing I didn't trade Witten, Ravens, and Wallace for Cadillac Williams, Dallas Clark, and Mike Williams (actual trade offer). The fantasy gods were not pleased by that insulting offer, and thus smited PJ's team to be low scorer of the week.
10. Victor - I can't rank myself higher than PJ, since he beat me head-to-head. Also nearly pulled off most idiotic benching of the week by sitting Big Ben and missing out on 5 TDs, but Alex Smith rescued me a bit. One more week of suck-ass-titude before the TEBOW makes his grand entrance into fantasy valhalla.
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Andrew