Week 7 Power Rankings

This week, Guest Contributor Donny will be doing the power rankings. As an employee of the federal judiciary branch, Donny doesn't have much on his plate at work until the end of the year, so generously offered to write up the rankings this week. One minor note is that Donny does his ranking bottom to top instead of top to bottom. I've only edited for spelling.

Week 7 Power Rankings

10. Andrew - What is the deal with this dude? Is it really that difficult for him to set his lineup up once a week? Stop giving people cheesy wins, guy! Seeing that Andrew has given up on the year or perhaps on FADUCO in general, should Hai just let the Assistant GM set his lineup each week? Though that might be asking too much of Hai since he is a pretty lazy commish. Despite having number 1 waiver priority since week 2 , Andrew has made all of one transaction on the year and that was to pick up the great Keiland Williams. Would you believe me if I said that the highest scoring WR in FADUCO is currently on Andrew’s team? It is true (Austin Collie), but of course it doesn’t really matter because Andrew doesn’t adjust his lineup and has had him stashed on his bench the entire year. Way to manage your team, you deadbeat. Andrew has definitely gone the way of the Larry, which means we need to start thinking of potential white replacements.

9. Katy - It pisses me off that she’s 3-3 instead of 0-6 only because of having the softest schedule yet AGAIN. She should be getting creamed week in and week out. How is that Katy always, always has the easiest schedule??!! Law of averages do not apply to her. How can one owner be so lucky?? Not even Vic Guru can explain it. Anyways, her current team is so poor that not even the most cushy schedule can overcome it. Wouldn’t surprise me if she swaps spots with the deadbeat Andrew at some point, who I think has a better roster. I’m not sure how you can take a lineup seriously that has Kenny Brit and Louis Murphy in it. She certainly doesn’t get any more wins until DeSean is back 100%, and when he does come back she’ll be playing against the much tougher whites.

8. Victor - Disastrous trade with Kevin, but I’m sure Vic was looking at it from beyond just this year. Deserves to be in last place even in the pathetic Asian division after that bewildering trade and an uninspired draft to follow it up with. What’s more, he also turned down an attractive pre-season trade offer from Tuna to get Aaron Rodgers for what amounted to just Shonn Greene. Had he done that trade, he could have drafted Best or Foster instead of Romo, as we all know the Guru has a keen eye for spotting young RBs before they break out. Victor seems to hold some sort of trade bias against Tuna. He gave me crap for starting Torrain two weeks ago, but last week he ended up scoring 18 points, an output neither of the RBs he got for Peyton has even sniffed. Still, he ought to have more than one win at this point, two one-point losses to me and Tuna have killed his chances. Perhaps Victor has found a stripper witch of his own, as he appears to be amply distracted off the field. There is nothing at all to get excited about on Victor’s roster. This is the 2^nd year in a row that Vic has a fielded an insignificant team.

7. Me - There is no way I should be at .500 at this point in the season. My team is certainly below average and this ranking reflects that. As VG has pointed out throughout his rankings, my wins are ugly ones like those of the Redskins. I am no better at setting my lineup than Andrew or Katy, as my team has not produced one rushing TD all year, though of course the Rbs on my bench always see it fit to find the endzone to my endless fucking consternation!! I’m not going anywhere unless I am able to start the correct RBs. However, I will be in good shape going into the white part of my schedule, as my next two match-ups are automatic Ws (Andrew and then Katy with the Eagles on bye).

6. Bill - Katy has hogged to herself the entire allotted Cosgrove luck and not shared any of it at all with her brother. What a little brat! His RB triumvirate of Rice, Turner and MJD, consensus top 10 picks in annual leagues, has woefully underperformed, partly due to minor injuries. His WRs suck and we all knew that but it wasn’t supposed to matter much with those RBs and Brees carrying the load. It doesn’t help that Bill has had the toughest schedule so far either. If he were in the Asian division, he’d likely be in the thick of it, but he’s not and now has just one win. His RBs will almost certainly turn it around, Harvin will benefit from Moss, Hines will benefit from Ben, and Brees is usually good for at least a couple 4+ TD games a year, which he has yet to have. So, Bill’s team will eventually start scoring like it is supposed to a, which is why I have him at 6, but it’s too late and simply too big a hole to climb out of to make the playoffs, what with only one spot up for grabs. This is not the year of the Bill.

5. PJ - Stripper witch has cursed his team and likely every other aspect of his life. What was a promising squad at the start of the season has surprisingly degenerated into such an underwhelming team. Pretty much all his best players have performed below pre-season expectations and there is really no other source to lie blame for this other than the stripper witch. A. Pete has not performed to the level of an elite fantasy RB, his Miami guys only have one TD a piece, Larry Fitz and Steve Smith are both hampered by pathetic Qbs, and may have a tough time each week deciding between Cutler or Ryan, who both share the same bye week. Surprising that he couldn’t somehow exploit Katy with McCoy, I think PJ got too greedy. Since a week one output of 91 points, this team’s scoring hasn’t topped 68 points and put up a dud of 35 in week four. That said, prosperity could be just around the corner, as on paper this team still looks capable, most of his starters have already had their byes, and the schedule opens up, so PJ could certainly get hot and put together a nice run. Before he gets to the soft Asian part of his schedule, he gets Kevin this week who has Peyton, Best and Johnson on their byes, and then Lily the following week with a bunch of her guys on byes as well. My prediction is that he gets on a roll and nabs the 4^th playoff spot stripper-witch-fiancé hex be damned..

4. Twan - We all know Tuna will never ever win FADUCO but he tries his best, bless his heart. Usually the 4 spot is a pretty darn good team, but I’m not so sure you can say that about Tuna’s team upon closer inspection of his roster. This team is just a hair better than Vic’s, the disparity in overall records owing to better weekly match-ups i.e. luck. Edging Victor last week was pretty big for Tuna and I’m sure demoralizing for Vic, who sees Tuna as a frenemy. Tuna should be in the hunt for that 4^th playoff spot. Aaron Rodgers is a stud, but nobody else really stands out after him. His WRs are not worth mentioning. Tuna’s stable of RBs are solid and put up at least average numbers each week, but he doesn’t have a clear-cut #1 RB that elite FADUCO teams typically have. Forte has had two huge weeks, but I am not a big believer in him. Bradshaw gets a ton of yards but Jacobs vultures his TDs. His best RB might be white and play for Cleveland. I would advise Tuna to trade one of his Rbs for a WR, a good candidate to trade with is Andrew, but that would require Andrew to log on to the site, and click Accept, quite a painstaking task I know. This is not the year to have a crappy WRs, look at the top three teams, all have great wideouts. Tuna’s team is not a scary team, but rarely has off weeks(lone off week was against Katy of course) , which might just be good enough to backdoor into the playoffs this year. But realistically, the 4^th playoff team, whether Tuna or someone else, has zero shot to win FADUCO this year.

3. Lily - Cute icon pic, but more appropriate for Facebook than fantasy football 2^nd, why haven’t you come to any family events recently, are you not a Duong. 3^rd, change your team name, makes no sense unless Beau uses Connor as his chew toy. All right, I guess Lily has a pretty good team here. Really, she should be undefeated, her one loss was to Kevin when she was the 2^nd high scorer that week. Lily can effectively employ the 3 WR set because she has a stud QB and RB in Rivers and Foster. Roddy White and Wayne are as reliable as fantasy WRs can be. Foster has been studly this year, that was a wonderful pick late 2^nd round, the type of pick that we customarily have seen from her brother. She doesn’t have a serviceable #2 RB, we’ll see if that comes back to haunt her. A concern is that she has all her starters but Rivers on bye this week and next week, so she could be staring at two losses in a row. Finally, great timing in having your first low-scoring last week. No better time to get it out of the way than Andrew week.

2. Hai - Hai gives himself a great chance to win every week because this well balanced team never has a poo-poo week or even merely a below average week.. Hai has two consistent producers each week in Mendenhall and Pitt D. Pitt D has been the clear cut #1 D this year, making me feel like a tool for my lame-o Jets reach in the 2^nd round. Usually at least one of his WRs of Lloyd, TO, and Austin put up huge numbers. Schaub has been hot and cold, but the Pitt guys and his Wrs make up for his cold weeks. This type of balance bodes well for Hai, as he has been winning even with the inconsistent Schaub and a ho-hum Steven Jackson. Hai will run away with the Asian division to state the obvious, which isn’t saying much. But he has the firepower to take out Kevin in the playoffs if Lloyd and Pitt D continue to light it up.

1. Kevin - Yeah, his team rocks, we all know it, and he is a nice guy to boot and doesn’t brag much. I would usually hate on a person who has this much fantasy success but I can’t here. And I would normally cast aspersion on that Peyton trade and declare some sort of under the table deal. Victor, as a Viet could definitely be capable of that, but I really can’t see Kevin being party to unethical transactions. Kevin loses week 7 but may not lose again the rest of the way.