While the financial markets come tumbling down and commercial credit becomes tighter than a Jay Cutler spiral, most of us can seek some escape in our little fantasy football world. I am tempted to do a comparison of FADUCO teams to an equivalent financial company as most of FADUCO owners are involved in the finance and accounting field. However, I will not do so because I don't want to give the impression that FADUCO owners are a bunch of losers with little hope in the near future. As a compromise, however, I shall try to see what credit rating each team would get and so you non-finance readers may find it a bit difficult to follow.
Super-Prime
AAA
No one, since there is no 4-1 or 5-1 team in the league with no weaknesses. No automatic favorites this season...
Prime Investment Grade
AA
PJ - Has the best set of starters in the league. Ronnie Brown now upgraded to automatic start stud. Purple Jesus gets to play Detroit, and Tennessee is the best defense in the league. Will have a hard time deciding on his 2009 keepers with stashing Brady in his bench. As long as the team can avoid injuries, the outlook is stable.
Donny - Gets back Favre from the bye. This team's performance would be stratospheric if we count punt returns in individual scoring. Donny has demonstrated to the market that a 3-WR offense can work when the 3 players have a solid QB as well. The team also has not mortgaged its future away with the Favre trade. Donny's stock is peaking right now, with his fantasy team, the Redskins, and love life exceeding analyst expectations in spectacular fashion.
A
Katy - The quantitative metrics say this team should be rated lower. The qualitative factors such as managerial skill, past history, and good fortune more than compensate for hard numbers. While team Katy lost two heartbreakers in previous weeks, fortune favored team Katy this week with a tiebreaker win. The team is also now active in the transaction market, which reflects management's optimism in the team's future returns.
Investment Grade
BBB
Andrew - This team is on a positive ratings watch. Three straight wins and a high score of the week has led to a recent upgrade in its rating, with possible future upgrades likely if Andrew continues to play well. Management must be commended for its move for Portis in the preseason. However, concerns on the team's reliance on a sustained Kurt Warner scoring contribution have prevented it from achieving an A-level rating.
BB
Kevin - Kevin's winning record masks the underachievement of certain core assets. LDT is still hobbled and the Cowboys defense has underperformed lately. The re-emergence of Andre Johnson has been accompanied by lackluster numbers from Braylon Edwards. While still investment-grade, the 2007 star performance by Kevin may start looking like a distant memory.
Victor - Probably the most frustrating team to evaluate. The bottom-line shows a 2-3 record, yet this team has returned the most points to the owner this season to date. The team has successfully developed talent (Steve Slaton) and its outsourcing project in week 4 gave a positive return. However, main point producer Peyton has not delivered large numbers so far. Extremely negative extraordinary items such as Desean Jackson dropping the ball and Drew Brees throwing a last second Hail-Mary INT have made Victor dread Monday night numbers.
B
Bill - This team is on the cusp of being downgraded to non-investment grade. Its outlook is negative, but it still avoids being a subprime team due to a favorable schedule so far and the emergence of Michael Turner as a blue chip asset. Management has had a history of very favorable player swaps, but may find it more difficult to obtain counter-parties to execute trades in the future. It remains to be seen if Bill's unofficial custodianship of team Larry will distract Bill from running his own team.
Sub-Prime
CCC
Hai - Injuries and underachievement of several key starters in the past three weeks has offset Hai's development of Jay Cutler as a fantasy force. The swap of Moss for Favre has been a debit to Hai's points earnings. Management seems to have a lack of focus this season, with several out-of-town junkets and a 0-5 performance in its Andersen league subsidiary doing little to ease investor confidence. However, should there be a management change, the bench is solid. Hai's developmental subsidiary, team Yen, is doing extremely well in the Hollifield league (4-1, highest points scored).
CC
Tuna - The loss of Tom Brady in week 1 has unearthed this team's shaky foundations. QB performance has been unstable and erratic, leading to poor managerial efficiency. Star WR Randy Moss has been inconsistent, and the running back picture except for Matt Forte has been pretty grim. While not impossible, there is little to expect in the way of home-run numbers each week. Expect Tuna to be outside playoff contention this season, which hasn't happened in a while.
Likely to Default
DDD
Larry - This team has unofficially been under receivership even before the start of the season. With a solid draft, there was hope that the team could avoid defaulting in its obligation to field a competitive team. However, the onset of bye weeks coupled with no activity in the transaction market has severely eroded the points earning power of team Larry. Ownership, who has been silent this entire season so far, has tried to reduce expenses with zero transactions. However, this adversely affected points stream last week and will do so again this week. There may be some concern about an outsider or private entity acquiring the team in the upcoming off-season.
Super-Prime
AAA
No one, since there is no 4-1 or 5-1 team in the league with no weaknesses. No automatic favorites this season...
Prime Investment Grade
AA
PJ - Has the best set of starters in the league. Ronnie Brown now upgraded to automatic start stud. Purple Jesus gets to play Detroit, and Tennessee is the best defense in the league. Will have a hard time deciding on his 2009 keepers with stashing Brady in his bench. As long as the team can avoid injuries, the outlook is stable.
Donny - Gets back Favre from the bye. This team's performance would be stratospheric if we count punt returns in individual scoring. Donny has demonstrated to the market that a 3-WR offense can work when the 3 players have a solid QB as well. The team also has not mortgaged its future away with the Favre trade. Donny's stock is peaking right now, with his fantasy team, the Redskins, and love life exceeding analyst expectations in spectacular fashion.
A
Katy - The quantitative metrics say this team should be rated lower. The qualitative factors such as managerial skill, past history, and good fortune more than compensate for hard numbers. While team Katy lost two heartbreakers in previous weeks, fortune favored team Katy this week with a tiebreaker win. The team is also now active in the transaction market, which reflects management's optimism in the team's future returns.
Investment Grade
BBB
Andrew - This team is on a positive ratings watch. Three straight wins and a high score of the week has led to a recent upgrade in its rating, with possible future upgrades likely if Andrew continues to play well. Management must be commended for its move for Portis in the preseason. However, concerns on the team's reliance on a sustained Kurt Warner scoring contribution have prevented it from achieving an A-level rating.
BB
Kevin - Kevin's winning record masks the underachievement of certain core assets. LDT is still hobbled and the Cowboys defense has underperformed lately. The re-emergence of Andre Johnson has been accompanied by lackluster numbers from Braylon Edwards. While still investment-grade, the 2007 star performance by Kevin may start looking like a distant memory.
Victor - Probably the most frustrating team to evaluate. The bottom-line shows a 2-3 record, yet this team has returned the most points to the owner this season to date. The team has successfully developed talent (Steve Slaton) and its outsourcing project in week 4 gave a positive return. However, main point producer Peyton has not delivered large numbers so far. Extremely negative extraordinary items such as Desean Jackson dropping the ball and Drew Brees throwing a last second Hail-Mary INT have made Victor dread Monday night numbers.
B
Bill - This team is on the cusp of being downgraded to non-investment grade. Its outlook is negative, but it still avoids being a subprime team due to a favorable schedule so far and the emergence of Michael Turner as a blue chip asset. Management has had a history of very favorable player swaps, but may find it more difficult to obtain counter-parties to execute trades in the future. It remains to be seen if Bill's unofficial custodianship of team Larry will distract Bill from running his own team.
Sub-Prime
CCC
Hai - Injuries and underachievement of several key starters in the past three weeks has offset Hai's development of Jay Cutler as a fantasy force. The swap of Moss for Favre has been a debit to Hai's points earnings. Management seems to have a lack of focus this season, with several out-of-town junkets and a 0-5 performance in its Andersen league subsidiary doing little to ease investor confidence. However, should there be a management change, the bench is solid. Hai's developmental subsidiary, team Yen, is doing extremely well in the Hollifield league (4-1, highest points scored).
CC
Tuna - The loss of Tom Brady in week 1 has unearthed this team's shaky foundations. QB performance has been unstable and erratic, leading to poor managerial efficiency. Star WR Randy Moss has been inconsistent, and the running back picture except for Matt Forte has been pretty grim. While not impossible, there is little to expect in the way of home-run numbers each week. Expect Tuna to be outside playoff contention this season, which hasn't happened in a while.
Likely to Default
DDD
Larry - This team has unofficially been under receivership even before the start of the season. With a solid draft, there was hope that the team could avoid defaulting in its obligation to field a competitive team. However, the onset of bye weeks coupled with no activity in the transaction market has severely eroded the points earning power of team Larry. Ownership, who has been silent this entire season so far, has tried to reduce expenses with zero transactions. However, this adversely affected points stream last week and will do so again this week. There may be some concern about an outsider or private entity acquiring the team in the upcoming off-season.
Comments
Nice write-up.
Thought I'd share the sports guys analysis of my man Andy Reid. Even though I am a rabid Andy fan I thought he had a point:
: On behalf of every Eagles fan, can you please be the one media guy who doesn't suck up to Andy Reid and point out all the reasons why he sucks and needs to either resign or start smoking? The man either needs more oxygen or more nicotine. Thanks in advance.
-- Randy, South Philly
SG: I'd be delighted! Reid is like Art Shell with a better PR staff. He makes terrible decisions at the worst possible times. His players make boneheaded mistakes (like the DeSean Jackson spike, or McNabb's pathetic eight-minute drill in Super Bowl XXXIX) and nobody ever blames him. He doesn't seem to understand the strengths and weaknesses of his players even remotely, as we witness every week when poor David Akers is forced to try 50-yard field goals with a 43-yard leg and their crappy offensive line is forced to keep ramming it down someone's throat on third-and-1. His clock management has always been horrendous -- always -- even back when the Eagles were going to the NFC title game every year.
Here's how much Reid has slipped as an NFL coach: During the Skins-Eagles game, Antwaan Randle-El threw an option pass TD that Reid challenged even though Randle-El was clearly behind the line. There was no debate. I watched the play live and didn't even know what Reid was challenging until Troy Aikman guessed it correctly. ("You're exactly right, Troy!") So we wasted two minutes watching replays of Randle-El throwing the pass from two yards behind the line of scrimmage, then Philly eventually losing a timeout on one of the five dumbest challenges of this decade. And I was sitting there thinking that we needed some sort of "Coaching Boners" stat to capture the following things …
1. Calling for inane challenges that have no chance of getting overturned.
2. Horrendous goal-line plays that cause fans to start booing even as the ball-carrier is getting tackled.
3. Egregious and indefensible brain-farts by a player.
4. Any needlessly counterproductive decision along the lines of "David Akers couldn't make a field goal of more than 50 yards right now unless we injected him with enough cocaine, Red Bull and HGH to kill a thoroughbred horse, but screw it, we're trying this 52-yarder anyway."
5. Screwing up the clock management in the "Two minutes to go and we need two scores" scenario.
6. Screwing up your three timeouts when there is less than four minutes left, you're trailing and you need to save as many seconds as possible.
When you think about it, we could easily keep track of those six categories. And if we did, we'd find that Andy Reid has doubled the total of any other coach for 2008 coaching boners through five weeks. I am convinced.